CONTINUED: How to cope with the suffocating pressure of not knowing which career to pursue

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Talk things over

Crawford says, “Talking to people in the same situation can be therapeutic and help you tame those external pressures.” She recommends seeking assistance from friends in a similar position, family members, a coach or even people in online forums and Facebook groups.

This is something I’ve often been terrible at. I can be too proud to ask for help, preferring instead to cope with major stress alone. That’s a mistake.

When that charming girl in the art studio offered to talk with me about the image I was painting, I clammed up and she walked away. Not only did I miss an opportunity for possible friendship, I lost my chance at a few extra moments of support and clarity that I didn’t even have to search for.

Get more information

Quite often, when you’re feeling overwhelmed and unable to make a decision, it’s because you don’t have enough relevant information. It can cause you to assume the worst about any career options you have in mind. But there’s a great way, frequently overlooked, to get a feel for what may be right for you.

Crawford suggests approaching people who are already in the careers that interest you and asking them for a little bit of their time to answer some questions.

“A lot of times, these informational interviews provide career seekers with enough information to determine which careers would be a fit and which ones won’t,” she says. “They can ask all their industry-related questions and get a better understanding of what the career might be like.”

I never thought of doing this when I was fumbling my way through the fog of confusion. But even if I had, I probably would have been too intimidated to approach anyone—which is why freaking out is such an important first step. Only now, as a professional myself, do I realize how many busy people are willing to take a few minutes to help those at a crossroads find their way. Just be patient and polite.

You might even get lucky and have a chance to gain some exposure on the job as an intern or by shadowing someone. Real experience is invaluable when you’re trying to overcome uncertainty because it makes information more tangible.

Be honest, trust yourself and stay open

Hindsight is a real eye-opener. Looking back, I can see that a big reason for feeling so disoriented at university was because I listened more to the advice of others than to what my gut was telling me. I compromised what I really wanted so that people would think I was doing the right thing—their thing.

Other people don’t walk in your shoes. They haven’t necessarily had your experiences. They can’t imagine your potential in the same way you can. You know best what inspires you.

So accept advice graciously, but be cautious. Although other people might have good intentions, that doesn’t mean they understand what will make you happy. The challenge here is to remain open-minded to ideas and experiences that might be good for you without discarding your dreams or the things you know innately to be true about who you are.

Your emotions are a guidance system

Whenever I display the gruesome self-portrait that woke me from my befuddled trance, I view it with fondness. Everyone else sees it as something to be hidden, something too disturbing to be proud of or a sign that I must be really crazy.

Everyone, that is, but a clever girl that got away.