How to cope with the suffocating pressure of not knowing which career to pursue

When the hottest girl in the art building interrupted me, I knew something was wrong.

“Whoa! That’s scary cool,” she said. “Ya want somebody to talk to about that?”

I didn’t understand the question. So I fixated on her cat-like eyes as if I could grab the meaning telepathically. But her wily smile caused me to admire the rest of the scene. She was a china doll in a James Dean leather jacket.

After a long pause, I turned to look at what she was so fascinated by. And I finally saw it. My oil painting was alive and new—and demanding I listen.

The self-portrait I’d been working on showed me wearing a royal cape and crown while menacing little creatures partied with my insides as I screamed, bloody tears running down my sickly green face.

Was this really a reflection of me?

It was only my first year of university. But I was in agony over the question of what to be when I grew up.

On many different occasions, I had convinced myself that I knew the answer. This time, I was in school to become an architect. But there I was, in my second semester, taking painting—and acting and theatrical stage design. Anything to avoid the program I signed on for. And a future I knew I didn’t want.

My head was a mess. I felt so much pressure to make my family proud, to not waste the hefty debt I was accumulating, and to live up to my own grandiose expectations that I was blinded to what was happening to me—and to the path I should really be on. If I hadn’t used painting as such an expressive outlet, I certainly would’ve snapped.

But I’m not alone in this type of experience. When you don’t know what you’re supposed to do with your life, panic and anxiety can smolder and expand inside you until your head is so clouded with confusion that you’re rendered incapable of making even small decisions.

I managed to muddle through this condition. But in an effort to spare you such distressing emotions (not to mention the funny looks people give you when they think you’re deranged), I’ve searched out some advice on how to overcome the feelings that can prevent you from seeing the career option that’s best suited to who you really are. Here’s what I found:

Scream!

Hallie Crawford, a certified career coach in Atlanta, says that it’s important to take the time to be emotional and freak out. It’s all about overcoming those feelings of anxiety that paralyze you. “Decisions made in fear are never good decisions,” she says. Acknowledging your emotions can help you move forward.

When I was a high school senior, my art teacher—knowing how worried my classmates and I were from trying to figure out what to do after graduation—would close the door to our classroom about once a week and command that each of us scream in unison, as long and loud as we could. It was primal. And it worked, helping us clear our minds so that we could get on with the task at hand.

But, being considerate of the people around you is crucial. So try to find a private place to vent (your goal should be to avoid being thrown into a scary psyche ward). Once you’re reasonably sure no one will call 911 to report a massacre, let it rip.